We are weirdly created...

When we know some things aren't supposed to work, we still expect.. Its insane!!

Hope that it would all be like before...Unfortunately not!!!!

Encounters...

Its amazing how our daily encounters with different people can teach us so much!!

This pleasant Sunday morning after a bad bad crazy night hangover, I headed towards my pre fixed Spa session to this upmarket, urban place in Indiranagar! As usual I was embarrassed to strip in front of the masseuse. But then after so many Spa sessions, I think one gets so used to it, hardly matters...

Anyway, I am quite particular about the hygiene of my masseuse, so I met her prior. To my surprise there was this 15- 16 year looking fair, pretty girl waiting for me in the room.. I couldn't stop myself from asking her age.. She said 20! N then she began the chore and trust me she was good man she was!

She sort of opened up to me after our initial hello's and began talking ! Asking me about my life, age, etc..I usually like the silence during my spa sessions with the low music in the bg. But this time around I did not mind her talking to me. Probably because I was amused by her innocence. She was so naive!

She was from Coorg and her parents had sent her to Blore to earn money! She told me if I knew any coorgi! On affirming my acquaintanceship with Coorgi's, she popped like, don't marry them , all Coorgi boys are bad people. They cheat. N then she went on to tell her story with a guy she liked and how he molested her. Forced her to have sex.. How he lived off the mere 6k she earns..

However, what intrigued me was not just this but the things she told me post that..

She said, But now I am happy.. I am getting married in 2 months to a guy who lives in Bangalore. They are very nice people. He calls my mother regularly. The other day he got me a rose and teddy bear keychain. I am so lucky. He is rich also. He has a bike and house. His family is also very nice. They will allow me to wear Salwar Kameez.

She went on to say, What else does a girl need, a house, a loving husband who can take care of her, protect her from other bastard men like that other guy (However, the guy she is marrying is also a Coorgi). He also says until a baby I can work. and she went on....

There I was telling myself, how I complicate my life!! This girl 20 years old has no priorities and expectations!And is so happy with the little she is getting... N here I sit, greying my hair at 24 thinking of earning more, doing better at work, investing in a house, buying a car, a wine cabinet, International Holiday, new furniture, new phone, playstation!!! My list wouldn't end.. 

Time to uncomplicate things and enjoy those little joys of life each day! 

Its a new day

A lot has happened in the last 15- 20 days.. Lot actually.. And not so pleasant things!!

But, this morning when I got up I saw that silver lining ahead of the cloud. I felt stronger. I realized how I need to grab it all and pull up my socks and begin running. Maybe it's because of what happened last night, may be not..However, what I have at least understood is that I never wanted this to work out after the breakup, I was just trying to pull through because of the efforts put into it and the fact that my life revolved around this spineless freak..

About time I act and get a hold of my life.. I ain't a lonely, cry baby, weak and broken!!I'm stronger than that..

For all those people who stood by me and have given me such immense strength I can't hurt myself no more. I am surprised to see this side of me! I guess it's that that phase of self sympathy and nothing else.. 

I pledge to myself to put down my thoughts and move on. Be stronger with each passing day and  knock everyone hurting me in their face!!

This too shall pass....

I'm ANGRY!!

I'm ANGRY because you pursued me relentlessly and told me you wanted me to be your girlfriend..
I'm ANGRY because I learned things about you through others !

I'm ANGRY because you LIED to me
I'm ANGRY because I can't tell you how angry I am

I'm ANGRY because you led me to believe you wanted a life with me
I'm ANGRY because I don't know if anything you said was ever true!

I'm ANGRY because I screwed 4 years of my life!!
I'm ANGRY that I can never believe in love..
I'm ANGRY because  I fell in love with you.

I'm ANGRY because  I tried so hard!!
I'm ANGRY because I was never so happy..
I'm ANGRY because I can't just set things right!!

I'm ANGRY because colleagues and random strangers ask me to smile!
I'm ANGRY that I believed for so long that you loved me!

I'm ANGRY because  I haven't moved on..
I'm ANGRY because I'm burning!!
I'm ANGRY because  I've killed myself crying my lungs out!

I'm ANGRY because I can NEVER EVER have an honest conversation with you!
I'm ANGRY because everything around me reminds me of you..
I'm ANGRY that I DON'T know you..

I'm ANGRY I TRUSTED YOU!!

I'm ANGRY I LOVED YOU LIKE I DID..

Why are break ups always so hard??

Its been a terribly shaky week.. Last one!!
Just a little bit of things gone wrong or a wee bit of people gone wrong (for me)..
You can't even remotely imagine the amount of clutter that there is in my head swimming and refusing to go..Its rotting my brain and every other part that thinks logically..

Dear Diary, I've been wanting to blurt all out to you so that I can have someone to share everything with!!But alas, this clutter is stuck and looks like it'll take me quite some time to get everything out!!

Afterall, its a breakup!!For gods sake, it can't be easy!! Sure not, if u put in every ounce into something for 4 years, Just for the other person to run through it !! Not when all you knew was that one person! Not when every action was to make it work.. Not when you still care for that person's well being! Not when ur on the receiving end!! Sure not when u get something u dont deserve..

I'm upset!!Yes I am.. But the fact is I have to move on.. I have to grow stronger..

and you thought you were Irreplaceable?

To the left

Mmmm to the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, that's my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, don't touch

And keep talking that mess, that’s fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And it's my name thats on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute

You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable?

So go ahead and get gone

Call up that chick, and see if shes home

Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Drop the keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter of fact, he'll be here in a minute

You must not know 'bout me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable (irreplaceable)?

So since I'm not your everything (irreplaceable)
How about I'll be nothing Nothing at all to you
I won't shed a tear for you

I won't shed a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep

a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left, to the left.
Mmmmm
To the left, to the left.
Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left, to the left.

You can pack all your bags we're finished

you must not know 'bout me
'Cause you made your bed now lay in it

you must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable?

Let go

I want to let go.....This life and its people!!

This is more complicated than I thought!

Goa Madness

Well, most of you who know me know my craze and association with that place.. How much I love being in Goa and spend my time exploring , lazing , shopping and just chilling there..

Two weeks back when I was there I realized I know quite a lot of places and this knowledge might just help my fellow travelers who're visiting Goa for the first time and those who have been there a couple of times but limited to Baga and Calagute..

So, my attempt to pass on most of what I know.. http://goa-musing.blogspot.com/

Do visit this and write how you feel about the posts..

Lotsa Love!!

Break the damn Prison!!!!

I've started to notice recently how Micheal Scofield, Lincoln Burrows, Aleaxander Mahome have become a part of my daily life!

I've never really been the one to watch TV that much but I'm guessing I'm growing younger and crazier by the day..

Prison Break has currently become a part of my life, staple food for survival! I've been watching one episode after the other. Sleepless nights, couch potato state on weekends.. Man, life couldn't be more fun :-)