Noone Loves me, Noone cares for me :-(

Was reading a blog about author not being perfectionist and the next day I get a letter from my best friend. That’s when I decided to write this blog, though quite similar to the other blogger’s pattern, the ideas and feelings are absolutely mine.
Well, it’s been a while, actually from the time I started working, I feel no one really cares for me, no one loves me no more! At times, when I’m alone and I want to talk to someone, I don’t know who from the 498 contacts in my phone I should call! There’s not one person I can call without thinking twice. Haven’t mentioned it to anyone but I just feel so low at times! But, I have only hurt all those people who love me and care for me, so why should they bother anyway?
I haven’t been able to live up to my parent’s expectations:
· I dirty my room each day (when at home) and expect mom to clean it for me!
· I argue with Dad about anything and everything just because I wanna be heard!
· I yell at Mom if any of my things are missing when I go home.
· I hardly call them up.
· My only conversations with Dad off late have been when I wanted money.
· I hardly spend time with them when I go home.
· I avoid discussing my future with them.
· I blame Mom for everything that’s not falling in place.
· I don’t entertain the guests at home, something ‘m expected to do!!
But, Dad-Mom, I love you and I feel miserable after behaving like that. Every time I fall, I realize you are the only people who are standing two steps behind to hold me! I’m Sorry for everything…..

I have been a problem some sibling L :
· I call him when I’m feeling low and sad. But, I’m never there when he needs me.
· I crib, cry, yell every time and bother him for hours.. But I never spend time listening to him.
· I over react each time he advices me about my life, career!
· I do the opposite of what he asks me to.
· I look up to him and talk about him to the whole world, but I show him like I really don’t bother!
· I fight with him, hurt him.
· I can’t still believe I took him out shopping with his broken hand and bruised leg!
· I piss him to no end and take him for granted.
· I never tell him about all my happy days, but if I’ve had a bad day, I call him and make sure he’s there to console me!
· I spend his money like water, without realizing how hard he works for every penny!
Bro, you are the one person I live and die for, in the TRUEST sense. At times, I do act weird and cocky, but I love you no matter what! I keep my ego above you, I’m trying to change. I don’t intend to hurt u! It just happens. Please forgive me. I’m not perfect.

I have been such a bad Friend:
· I talk but hardly listen.
· I argue for everything and more often than not, for no reason.
· I throw my tantrums anywhere, anytime and they are there.
· I love them so much but never tell them that I do.
· I put my price each time.
· I want everyone to agree and be friends again the first time I apologize, while they have to beg and be nice and sweet to me for 2-3 days.
· I want things “MY WAY” always!
· I can never take jokes in the right spirit but expect them to!
· I just bother them all so much and they’re still there for me.
· I’m unreasonable, unrealistic and demanding.
· I hate sharing my friends.
And this list is endless….
But guys, yes all of you, you’ve become an integral part of my life. I know, I’ve never made a good friend but I’m trying. I’m sorry for all those times I’ve hurt you. I hope you guys are gonna be there for me every time I need you like ALWAYS!! Love you ALL…….

Please understand, I’m not perfect.. I’m trying to be better but I need your love and care for that….