“Men are all Pigs”, said I.
“Cuz most women are dumb”, replied ma friend immediately!
This was with reference to some remark he made about someone. Well, I pounced on him arguing about why we are not dumb and more intelligent than men! I began citing examples of our intelligence and the fact proving men being Chauvinists and rude and cheap and what not!
And, this friend of mine is proud to claim that he is an MCP and all of those who know me also know how strong a feminist I am. So the discussion was in vain as both of us refused to agree with the other. And then someone interrupted to change the topic which is a common scene every time we meet.
But, I sat back and thought about a lot of things related to our discussions. I was wondering if men enjoy being called Chauvinists! Is it like a status symbol, “Like you know I have a girl friend, Like you know I’m an MCP and proud to be one???????”
Is that how they try to prove they are more superior? Or is it a way of showing strength?
I keep wondering, why is it that men seeking to bond and avoid potential conflict, endless talk of women has always been the coin of the realm? In this discourse, of course, women are routinely “OBJECTIFIED”. While often restrained in the presence of the opposite sex, amongst themselves men giggle and leer over women who live up to some social standard of sex appeal, or the opposite of it.
It’s so easy for a guy to say, that girl is such a bitch!! She is this and that, she does this and that?? How much ever we talk about women equality, 21st century world and things of the like, fact still remains, “it’s a man’s world”! Holds true at least in India.
The other day, one of my friends was telling me how a man slapped his wife on the airport and created a scene. When an educated man doesn’t know how to respect women, I’m sorry but he doesn’t even have the rights to be called civilized!!
There is nothing that the MCP’s loathe more than ball-busting women, as they perceive them. It’s the insecurity that they might be overtaken by their opposite sex. It’s the mental block that each individual builds in a period of time. I don’t completely blame the individuals; it’s more to do with the society! Why is it still true that people give birth until there’s a boy child born? (I don’t say it happens everywhere but yes, it’s still prevalent!). Why is it still true that people are not very serious about a girl’s professional career? Why is it that one’s guy friends don’t want the gal to be a part of the sports team because they think they’re gonna loose? Why is it that a gal is asked to shut up when two guys are talking or discussing? Why is it that guys think we are weak with General Knowledge?
An article titled The Hillary haters” published recently underscored this fact. Those men who were there to attack Hillary could not really explain to the article’s author why they felt so angry about her. More often than not, men (read MCP’s, not all u nice guys who respect women), don’t even know why they are doing it.
What’s so great about being a man? That you don’t have to face all the hardships we need to!! Or that you don’t have to be scared about any time of the day?
Well, I find no reason why a man has to misbehave or ill-treat a gal just because she is a gal! This blog came up also cuz I witnessed an incident that shouldn’t have happened! But, the point ‘m trying to make here is, feel superior for what u have done or achieved, not because you are born as a male!!
PS: No offence meant to any particular individual or sex, but to the mentality!
35 comments:
It is so refreshing to see a "speak your mind" blog. Nothing can be more uncivilised than one human beating dead the self esteem / self respect of another - regardless of gender. No one has any business to question, demolish, disrespect, insult anothers self respect and self esteem.
Like you say a supposedly educate man beating his wife in public is not human let alone a MAN !
In this age of easy information availability what is needed a the ability to give the other person room to be THEMSELVES and I am sure that day will dawn when GENDER equality will be the norm and, Aditi, i believe you have made a modest begining.. Keep it up
@ SKY,
Well, rightly said!I think, its the way people think needs a make over!
Brilliant article. But a few bad instances should not deter the spirit of Gender equality. The world is changing & it takes time for people to change.
PS:The MCP being referred to here is me!!! But i still respect women.
Aditi, I witnessed an incident that did hv a great impact on me. A guy slapped his wife when she was riding pillion on his bike. I was all out against men who can get violent with women. But what irritated me more was the fact that the lady in question continued to sit on the bike with a few tears rolling down her cheeks. What my question to the women is this why take the sh*t?? Stand up!
@ Pratik:
Well, I hope ur world changes soon ;-)
N yeah, I donno how much of that "I respect" women is true in ur statement ;-)
ads my comment on i do respect women is very genuine. its sad you dont understand that.
i can start a debate that u dont respect men.
now write a blog on that.
@shadowfox:
Pitaji,
Firstly, thanx for the compliment abt the blog.
But, who's passing judgements? U temme one thing, irrespective of the gender, irrespective of the seriousness of the issue, does it give any human the right to destroy the dignity of another in public?? Wats the difference between a civilised human and an animal then (like u mentioned urself?)..
N well, with all respect to ur view point i beg to differ, I refuse to be called the "WEAKER SEX".. We aren't the weaker sex, its men who have coined that term probably to boost their ego!!
N yepp, me not preaching non-violence, when gandhiji couldn't succeed, i wouldn't dare!!But, yes, 'm trying to say its time men,MCP's change their perspective about women!!And STOP objectifying them.......
Nice post. Feels good when we read something like this!
@shadowfax:
Pitaji,
Girls being objectified??U temme how many times in a day do boys talk about gals as objects? Kya maal hai?Kya Item hai kinds? Y'day, at office, my friend told me, her project-mate was enquiring about some gals from our batch and asking her, if they are read-only,read/write or executable kinds!!Do u call that intellectual?Is that not wat objectifying is pitaji?N this is just one of the many incidents!!Don't boys talk about gals vital stats more than they'd have spoken about their work in entire life?
Individuals survive in society??R u trying to tell me that men are the only individuals in the society??
N abt people using one another to survive, where does the gender factor pop in there?
Its all about needs and wants and most imporatantly MENTALITY!!
N yeah, it doesn't sound great when a man talks about women cribbing!!Did ur mother crib when u were in her womb for 9 months?Is there ne greater pain than that? Did ur sister crib when u couldn't buy her expensive gifts on rakhi??Does a daughter tell her father, "Dad, u do so much for bhaiyya n not me?Does she tell him u can't afford a car while my friends travel in one and mein bus mein dhakke khati hoon??"
Y do u restrict your definition of womanhood to your girl-friends??????
Ruining family life -point, I couldn't relate to!!Ru trying to say women are out here to ruin men's family life(Family which is again consistent of women!!)..N even if there are one in million cases where a woman has ruined a man's life, does that give him any right to publicly abuse her??????
Well, ur repeatedly talking abt uplifting a certain part of society!!Hello!!I refuse to believe that part of the society is women!!Cuz we don't need upliftment!!The reservations are implemented in the parliament to ensure women have their say in politics!!Whats wrong with that??????Its ok abt reserving seats in IIT and IIM for OBC's but not women in parliament??Now, thats wat i call an MCP statement!!
U mentioned, we shud appreciate the fact that u respect us, atleast a few men do?Well, don't we deserve it??Are you telling me, that ur doing a favor by appreciating womanhood and her contribution??
Earn respect??????Tell me has any gal ever come upto you begging for respect??U respect them cuz they deserve it!!N wat a statement DUMB genes??????That proves it all......
U wanna feel superior by telling us that we are dumb!!!!!!Well, thats the point i tried to make in the entire write-up and you proved it all!!
@ Medhini:
Thanx ;-)
Being disrespectful or hurtful has no excuse. It isn't just men, to be clear; that behavior shouldn't be tolerated in anyone.
Some societies value machismo as an acceptable social trait. Some countries treat women as second class citizens. The problem is ingrained.
Beautiful post, Aditi. Stand up for what you believe in. What is right eventually happens.
Interestingly, its always been very polite to be respectful to women, and at the same time treat them like personal property. Sadly, as the former dies away, the latter seems to be taking a huge rise in the near future. Shadowfax, well countered and aditi well counter countered ! I do agree with Aditi that the very way people think needs a massive change, and not just amongst us, but amongst people all over the world. But I must appreciate shadowfax too, well written dude.... Im all for women to stand up and fight for something, to make a lot of dogs understand that its your rightful place because you deserve it and theres no more to that...
Everything has a black, white and grey side.... People tend to be too rash with the way they speak, or the what they think is cool and whats not... sadly that doesnt seem to be dying away...
Similarly... all the ladies reading this... fight on... show the world that you deserve it... and you buggers who think its all right to call a woman a " maal"... boys grow up... im sure you wudnt appreciate it if your mom and sister got treated that way....
@ seraphine:
Rightly said, being disrespectful has no excuse!!!!!!
Thanx ;-)
@ Abhijatya:
Thanx for ur comments..Its always nice to hear something from better writers!!
N i think u shud now make a comeback ;-)
@ purplefish:
Duh Duh
@ pitaji
Well, I ain't justifying that men are pigs because you say women are dumb..I say so generally!!
You said by reading, writing and speaking well, women don't get exempted from being called dumb??Well, u know wat??Thats something i've been trying to tell throughout..If a man can slap his wife in public, he doesn't deserve to be called educated!!The missing element of intellect is with men(Read MCP's)!!Cuz they live in this illusionary world of being more intelligent than women!!Errrrrrr, U think u decide how intelligent you are????
Pitaji, its practically impossible for all you men out there who demean women to live without them!!
Stop underestimating people... this is the first opinion i had for you!
N u stop over estimating yourself..
my 2 cents to this long debate.
1. Do not generalize.
2. Do not misconstrue.
Having said that and having sounded like an MCP in the process, (to some of you maybe !!!) let me elaborate.
Someone rightly said. Things are changing. Women in the past gave in to such things and meekly accepted what was thrown at them. Women in under-developed parts of the country and world still do probably. Having said that, it comes as a refreshing change to see the woman of today. But you can't expect changes overnight.
Men around the world are divided on this. Yet, lots of them have taken up to this, especially the educated class and they are now truly ready to treat women shoulder to shoulder. Lots of them have been doing so for some years / decades now.
Just give it sometime. For the men still living in the luxury of being an MCP, probably its time to change before you get trampled over.
All said and done, it's probably a tad sad to see you generalize like this. The world is a much much better place than these streak incidents, and that much better place consists of men and women equally. So let's just be a part of it, rather than longing for it.
@ Ajax:
I ain't generalising....
What i'm trying to say is all those MCP's need a change in the mindset....
Mentality needs a make-over.....
oh sure as hell they do...and this article would only kickstart that process im guessing.
But someone again rightly pointed out. How do you judge a man to be chauvinist? What are the bench-marks here.
You might just have a person who speaks his mind a bit too much and another who knows what to speak when. Deep down, both of them might be chauvinists, but you've seen only one.
This might not apply in your case, since you know the guy whom you're talking about quite well. But in most other cases that i've noticed, the judgement has been flawed or one that has been made up on first impressions.
As far as I'm concerned, that should not be the case :)
Understand the guy, and if he deep down feels the way most other chauvinists do, kick his arse. Call me then. I'll probably give a few thuds from my side as well.
Cheers
This article reminds me of an age old fantasy that I have...
Years down the lane, I so wouldn't mind the lady in my life going to work, while I stay home bringing up the kids maybe :)
I soooo wouldn't mind this routine, for an interim period atleast.
Hope the lady in question does agree.
@ Ajax:
I haven't taken the responsibility of the entire nation!!I also know that this one blog is not going to change the age-old ideology!!
But, yes I can though try and convey how I feel to those close few, who make a difference to my life....
Another clarification, this blog is not about Pratik being an MCP!!Its about the single-track mindset few men have!!
And yeah, I hope ur fantasies come true ;-)
Cheers....
not getting any good example but trying to relate....if u take one glass of water from ocean....by the way the water is too dirty..should u come to conclusion that whole ocean is dirty.....if u tell yes it means u r a inncoent child who has not seen the different aspects of life.....appreciatin ur thoughts but not agree with ur viewpoint...urs blog reader
woof!!!!
ok first lemme wipe off the sweat of my face... that was some power badjering for guys i.e PIGGIES. Complete KNOCKOUT BLOWS :)I must accept it holds true in alot of situations.
But the vengence with which you wrote this "naari mukti morcha" :) article seems to be beyond just a common observation. I admire your opinion but might just not 'completely' agree. Being insulting to women and getting pysical with them are completely uncalled for incidences. which cannot be tolerated. PERIOD!
but on the other hand this "feminist" attitude is also equally wrong and demeaning to men the same way its for women. why is it not possible that we all could look at each other just as 'human beings'. women have always been complaining aboout alot of things... well they are designed that ways. men have thier own setback... nd they are designed that way. Its better to accept eachother's flaws and be humans together.
no wonder its said:
MEN RULE THE WORLD,
WOMEN RULE MEN!
I know a few MCP's..I guess this post wud do suome good to 'em. Good one!
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@ Rakesh:
Hey, I'm making no attempt to clean the whole Ocean..Trust me, I know thats IMPOSSIBLE..
All I wanna convey to people(Men) is that by some of their actions they tend to hurt those very people who mean the world to them..
I'm saying, please treat them as humans and not aliens ;-)
@ Casperbaba:
Hmmmmmmm....
I agree to most of wat u said..
The point I've been trying to make is eaxctly that: Treat women as human beings first"..
I agree my tone mite be a lil harsh, thats because the day I wrote the article I witnessed an event at office that I shouldn't have!! But the bottom line is, Women have the right to live and live with respect as much as anyone else does....
Thanks for the comment baba ;-)
@ Mez:
Thanks babe!!
Here are a couple of quotes that can only convince me that WOMEN are no inferior to any one... read on coz WOMEN have the infinite will and ability to be the wholesome support structure to the fabric of a sane society....
"What are you afraid of?
‘Uhh, well, I uh, I don’t know if I can do it’, you might say.
Ok. That doesn’t mean you ‘can’t’, it just means you don’t know if you can …
How do you come to know if you can? You find out!
Go ahead, my friend -- Find Out!!”
"Let The REAL You Shine (for women)
“And there’s a real you within your heart,
just waiting to come ahead now …
And she’s as capable as she is commanding --
How does she come to touch your life, indeed, become your life?
Be yourself, believe in yourself, and follow through with
what you feel and know is right in your heart …
You’ll find this real you within will never disappoint you;
she’ll just do what is right, and what is needed to come through for you…always!”
Read the quotes and it will tell you why a WOMEN is what she is. Because what ever role she takes on, she is the most vital support structure that we MALES need ... :) How many of us think of WOMEN as partners in every sense of the word than just an object of lust... I can very proudly say that my daughter and my wife have been the strongest influences on me and they have made me so complete.. what else can I ask for !!! (Added to this is structure, is one girl who has the strenght to stand up and be counted amongst the equals.. Shine on you star of stars !!!!! )
Read the quotes and think for yourselves -- LADIES. (the quotes are copyrighted)
Let The REAL You Shine (for women)
“And there’s a real you within your heart,
just waiting to come ahead now …
And she’s as capable as she is commanding --
How does she come to touch your life, indeed, become your life?
Be yourself, believe in yourself, and follow through with
what you feel and know is right in your heart …
You’ll find this real you within will never disappoint you;
she’ll just do what is right, and what is needed to come through for you…always!”
“What are you afraid of?
‘Uhh, well, I uh, I don’t know if I can do it’, you might say.
Ok. That doesn’t mean you ‘can’t’, it just means you don’t know if you can …
How do you come to know if you can? You find out!
Go ahead, my friend -- Find Out!!”
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